


Clarity

by yobecarefulbro



Category: Big Time Rush, Big Time Rush RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love, kendall and james are bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-17
Updated: 2014-11-17
Packaged: 2018-02-25 18:04:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2631140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yobecarefulbro/pseuds/yobecarefulbro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brazil brought out something completely new in all of them. Maybe it was because they had just done one of their biggest, most energetic shows ever. Maybe it was because the women were so much more gorgeous than any of them had ever seen. Or maybe it was because they were so far away from home that they felt invisible. But in all honesty it was mostly the alcohol.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clarity

**Author's Note:**

> I found this and apparently I wrote it ages ago, but I figured it would still be worth posting. Let me know what you think!

Brazil brought out something completely new in all of them. Maybe it was because they had just done one of their biggest, most energetic shows ever. Maybe it was because the women were so much more gorgeous than any of them had ever seen. Or maybe it was because they were so far away from home that they felt invisible. There were no paparazzi following their every move; no fans around every corner snapping pictures. The liberation was so strange they weren't entirely sure what to do with it. But in all honesty it was mostly the alcohol.  
As soon as their show was over they guys cleaned up and hit the streets to check out the local nightlife. For once they were allowed to be men and they travelled alone to discover the city for themselves. It left them all feeling slightly edgy, like teenagers who had snuck out for the first time. They all agreed that they wanted to go absolutely crazy simply because they could without any of the repercussions and none of them could say when they would have this opportunity again. Soon enough they found a club where the bass, drinks, and women were all free flowing. It was perfect. The four of them immediately went to the bar where Carlos ordered them drinks over the pounding music. A couple of shots later they hit the dance floor, more drinks in hand. Quickly the guys were separated by the crowd and Kendall found himself with a gorgeous woman grinding into him. She flipped her striking dark hair over her shoulder as she swayed her beautiful curves. Her hips moved against his in perfect time to the pulsing bass and he knew he was a lucky man. He would have to be an idiot not to appreciate this amazing opportunity in front of him. But still he caught himself scanning the crowd looking for particular dark haired beauty. Unfortunately his search was futile as the dance floor was way too crowded to find anyone. So he returned his focus to the gorgeous woman in front of him.  
A few songs later, her movements became more erotic and persuasive. She added more sultry pressure in areas that should be getting excited. But not even a Brazilian model could do it for him. His groan went unheard under the music and he excused himself less than politely, not wishing to lead the poor girl on any longer. Before she could react, he slipped into the crowd and returned to the bar. He was only half surprised to find James there as well. Kendall pushed his sweaty hair out of his face, sank onto the stool next to his friend, and ordered another drink. “Did you get tired?” he asked.  
James shook his head. “It felt too much like cheating.”  
Kendall figured as much. Despite James’ reputation because of his looks, he’s fiercely loyal to his girlfriend. Kendall admired that even though James could probably get away with dancing with some sexy models tonight and she’d never know, he cared too much for his girlfriend to even get too close to another woman. He made a note to mention this to her if he remembered the conversation in the morning.  
“How ‘bout you?” James asked. “Tired?”  
Kendall shrugged. “Just wasn't into it.”  
James gave him one of his patented looks and if Kendall had seen it once, he had seen it a million times. The first time James had given that look to one of Kendall’s more neutral comments the poor boy nearly had a heart attack. At that time the idea of James or anyone else knowing was enough for him to consider quitting the band and moving to South America to raise alpacas. But now he was in South America and the knowing looks weren't even enough for a skipped heartbeat. The blond ignored his friend in favor of scanning the crowd once again.  
James sighed and pointed. “He’s over there.”  
His eyes attached to the scene just to his left and suddenly the urge to hurl was overwhelming. Bile rose in the back of his throat and he clutched his stomach to keep his insides from ripping him apart, making his arms hurt with the effort. God he was such a fucking idiot. Those special looks and touches didn't actually mean anything. They could hang out and go to concerts together and know each other’s secrets, but that would be as far as they ever got and he fucking _knew it._  
James gripped Kendall’s shoulder and spun him back the other direction. The beat of the music throbbed in his brain and the flashing lights made it difficult to focus on anything. Kendall would swear that image of Logan making out with some Brazilian bitch while they “danced” was permanently burned on his retinas. The urge to jump up and run was to either go punch her in the face or puke his guts out. The question was which one was more powerful. Of course it didn't matter because James’ firm hand on his shoulder held him in his seat. Kendall simply turned and glared at his friend for being so much more muscular.  
“Sorry buddy,” Kendall’s idiot friend said. “But you needed to see it. He’s still very much into girls.”  
“I know that, asshole! I’m not delusional and I’m aware there’s nothing there for me.” He ordered yet another drink. “But it doesn't stop me from hoping.”  
James rolled his eyes. “Jesus, I forgot how much of a melodramatic teenage girl you can be when you’re drunk.”  
“I’m not drunk! I’m just a little tipsy.”  
“Sure you are. So, Mr. Just a Little Tipsy, do you wanna get out of here? Clearly neither of us are enjoying ourselves so far tonight.”  
“Where do you wanna go? There’s not much else to do at this time.”  
“I dunno. We could head back to the hotel, get some food, watch some movies.”  
“Dude, I’m a tipsy, brokenhearted, horny closeted gay man, not a fucking teenage girl who needs a sleepover with her bestie to cry and spill her guts with.”  
“Dude! TMI on the sexual needs.”  
“See! Despite my gayness and your loyalty, we are manly men who don’t need chick flicks and cry fests.”  
“You sure about that?” James asked, disbelief in his tone.  
“Completely.”  
“Positive?”  
“Absolutely.”  
“100% certain?”  
“Totally.”  
“So I’ll text the guys that we’re leaving while you pay our tabs and then we’ll head back?”  
“Yep.”


End file.
